Episode list net new campus humor

NO.1 student in a college cafeteria and agreements set
Party: XX college all students
B: all the staff canteen
mutual understanding in line with this agreement, the principles of mutual respect (ie canteen understanding the behavior of students, students respect and adapt to the school cook level)
B (ie, canteens) must do the following terms:
first: deep-fried cakes, pies must be more than 5 cm in diameter;
Article: buns filling in a "small strong (cockroaches)," the number of times, no more than three times per week;
Article: meat in the meat content must be more than five percent, the rice must be less than the percentage content of sand of ten;
Article: Some dishes should indicate the name, or at least more than 10 students allows them to distinguish between the material composition;
Article V: not allowed to cook rice according to the number of looks to determine the ;
Article: bread and Hanamaki must be complete, at least other people can not be bitten or teeth marks left by rodents;
Article: pan after each meal, must be at least five or more cook in front of the students to try the surface, such as residence time in the mouth for more than 10 seconds, in order for students to eat.
Party (the students) need to do the following terms:
first: not allowed in the canteen chefs name engraved on the wall, hanging next to the "small strong (cockroaches)," the body, and held a memorial service;
second: not allowed to use bread, Hanamaki and other injuries of a great chef throwing a hard object above the neck, the waist of the following parts;
Article: caused by food vomiting, not deliberately go Dafan window facing the canteen staff to influence other peoples appetite;
Article: crush a beautiful shall not be required to take more than ten boxes to the window Dafan;
Article: female students bun eating has a statutory death, "Xiao Qiang (cockroaches)", the screaming of the volume not more than 90 db;
Article: canteen meals may not be used as playing cards lost punishment bet;
Article: day meal with "chicken claw" when not allowed to collectively the "chicken claw" middle finger to put up, plug in to the chef demonstrations in Fanpen.
Both sides to strictly observe the above provisions, the defaulting party will be ordered to eat all day cafeteria leftovers.
NO.2 funny university graduates to write self-Kam
Hastily, too hastily, time is really running faster than rabbits, pull the soil is not grumble freshman wearing green uniforms in the sun scene still vivid in my mind, is drawing to a senior. Looking back four years, walked the streets, was returned with no white over the past four years, are summarized below. I

politically active to the party * rope. I have repeatedly written or oral form only to class members, group secretary Lee Flower students on my mind. Although she has been a malicious thought I was evil intentions, is in pursuit of her, which I refused to separate appointments, I handed her a written briefing material without looking, put it readily lost in the wind.

Tiandeliangxin, speaking from the heart, I really cherish a good impression on Lee flowers, but I will never own sons and daughters of the great affair of faith and mix together. Although my pursuit of a second hit, but I did not join the Communist Party has shaken the faith.

My honest humble. Road see injustice his help. I am at home when I saw a big cock small hen always bullied several times to climb a small hens back, his mouth still small hen pecking desperately shallow, bright red comb, this is not what bullying, I was furious, picked up a hoe to cock smashed fracture. Another time in school, check the internet late at night 3:00 dormitory, in the bushes not far away from the dormitory where the pain came a girl humming sound, without thinking I ran over and found a boy riding on the girls who, outrageous, middle of the night to catch our girls out to play, as well as Fa it? I then put that man play fainted, put the lovely, little girls Yishanbuzheng rescued. Although later I was out of 4,000 yuan in medical expenses, but I always think its worth, I have always for their heroic mettle of this touched. Also eat the flies on the school cafeteria, the school fees issue arbitrary collection of materials on television, newspaper exposure, all my reports. Although no one to reward me, but I think a man would do an honest person. I treat people

enthusiasm. Lees father last flowers to school, I find out in advance to the message he received from the train station to the school. I saw her father no place to live, to take the initiative to make their own beds vacated, although Lee did not accept my good intentions flowers, but I treat a passionate belief has not changed, I believe, as long as everyone contributes a little love This world will become a beautiful world. I

helpful. To help students with financial difficulties, I cleaned my room, bedroom opportunities for out of the way to pay for a packet to a class poor students, which is much better than the light to donate money to him, that is taken into consideration the The bit poor students face, he has cultivated the concept of self-reliance.

I love the Chinese learned professional, and strive to develop their own strong literary skills. Four years, I have a computer on the Internet day and night to watch the disc more than 12,000 copies in the world with a comprehensive understanding of the visual arts. I am also familiar with Jin Yong, Gu Long, Wen Jui, renowned writer Liang Yushengs works such as HYUNDAI, reaching back to the point where such streams. In order to improve their ability to observe, I deliberately bought a telescope to secretly observe the opposite building where the living conditions of girls. I have greatly improved the accumulation of these literary accomplishment and my writing skills, I have on the desk, the panel on the toilet, bedroom wall published poetry, prose, fiction, doggerel and other literary works of more than 300 articles.

Order to improve their overall quality to meet the needs of the community, I taught myself mahjong, poker, billiards, dancing, drinking and other social needs of nirvana HYUNDAI, simply to consummate the point. I have tasted from the sweetness of these skills, I basically can feed himself. Last year, New Years Day, I did not go home, just two days effort, I * Mahjong earned a years tuition plus living expenses for three months. I love music, my voice has great power to shock, students can often late at night, hear me in the bathroom, bath, hallway and issued a loud high-pitched voice, the whole building no sleep for me.

I love sports, just to the point of madness. Three major European leagues I often do not fall. My tennis level is the highest in the class. Sophomore men and women in our class organized a table tennis match, even though we lost the boys, but lose in terms of score, I was the least. I am also good at boxing, diving, swimming, the absence of venues and opponents, my level will not show.

In short, the university gave me a lot, but I was very little return. To now, four years 20 thousand yuan tuition, a point I did not pay it! I also feel ashamed! Really ashamed