Top of the classic joke about God

NO.1 TMD, I missed it!
A priest playing golf, a nun in the next watch, the first shot missed, the priest shouted: "TMD, he missed!" And beat the priest swore: "TMD, but he missed!" Said Sister : "You say that as a priest of God to punish the bad language." Carter, just listen to a thunderbolt to hack the nuns. Father wonder: Why is my curse, why hack nuns do? Then just listen to the sky came the voice of God: "TMD, I missed a!"
NO.2 No problem, so I blink an eye after you.
Believers: "Almighty God, ah, a thousand years is how long you do?"
God: "I blink an eye effort."
Believers: "Then one billion yuan of money it? "
God:" But my hair is just. "
followers:" Oh, merciful God, ah, then please give me a hair it. "
God: "No problem, so I blink an eye after you."